To Let Her Go
by Zathara001
Summary: A year after "To Protect Her," Ethan and Will cross paths with Julia once again.  Rated T due to caution.
1. Chapter 1

It should go without saying, but I don't own anything whatever to do with the _Mission: Impossible_ franchise. I'm just playing with the characters for a little while.

Be advised, there are mild spoilers for _Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol _in this story.

=X=X=X=X=X=

Chapter One

William Brandt mentally catalogued the vehicles parked in front of Ethan Hunt's bungalow as he slowed his Harley to a non-adrenaline-inducing speed. There was Ethan's SUV, and the hybrid Toyota belonging to Jane Carter. Of Benji Dunn's Cooper Mini there was no sign.

Will parked the Harley behind Jane's hybrid and removed his helmet. Running one hand through his hair, Will started up Ethan's driveway. He'd been to Ethan's house half a dozen times since their mission to India last year, sometimes just to watch a ball game with his commander, and sometimes, like today, with the whole team.

He let himself into the house and made his way to the kitchen and then the back deck where Jane perched on a picnic table and Ethan checked the flame on the grill.

"Not exactly a stealthy engine on that thing," Jane observed.

"I'm supposed to be stealthy when I'm coming to a friend's house for a barbecue? Just checking." Will doffed the backpack he wore and pulled a grocery bag containing buns and hot dogs from it.

"You never know what might happen," Jane said.

Will handed the bag to Ethan, then looked at Jane dubiously. "So on that zero point zero zero one percent chance, I'm supposed to drive something with all the get up and go of a brain-dead hamster? No, thanks." Then he saw the bowl on the table beside her. "Is that fruit salad?"

"What's wrong with fruit salad? Got to have something to offset all the beer and beef."

"Speaking of beer," Ethan said, "there's plenty in the blue cooler. Red cooler has water and soda."

"Thanks." Will opened the red cooler and pulled out a bottle of water first, given how dry his throat had gotten on the ride over. "Where's Benji?"

"He called and said he was stopping to get ice cream for dessert," Ethan said. "Should be here any minute."

"He better hurry," Will observed, "if he wants anything other than fruit salad."

"Ha ha." Jane glared at him, and he grinned back, raising his water bottle in a mock toast.

"First burgers are medium rare," Ethan said. "Will?"

"Thanks." He took the burger Ethan offered and moved to the array of condiments.

"Yours up next, Jane. Medium in another minute."

"Sorry I'm late." The British-accented voice belonged to Benji Dunn, the final member of their team. "Bloody long queue at the market."

"There's still some fruit salad left," Will offered and ducked as Jane swatted at him.

"And I can throw a burger on the grill for you," Ethan said. "These two haven't eaten all of them yet."

"Thanks, medium well, please," Benji said. "And it wasn't just the queue. You're not going to believe this."

"What?" Jane asked.

"Take a look." Benji pulled a tabloid from his pocket, thumbed through it.

"You know reading those things drops your IQ ten points a page." Will finished loading his burger with onions and put the top half of the bun in place. If he pressed down exactly on the center of the top bun, he should be able to compress the burger enough to fit his mouth around it. Maybe.

"I'm not _reading_ it," Benji protested. "But there's a picture … ah, here we go. They say everyone has a double, but I never believed it. Until now. Look at this."

Benji thrust the paper toward Ethan, and Will bit into his burger.

"She's the spitting image of Julia," Benji said, and Will's burger went tasteless in his mouth. He forced himself to swallow anyway, watching Ethan as he did. His commander's blank expression made him drop the rest of his burger and cross to look over Ethan's shoulder at the photo.

It wasn't just any photo, Will saw. It was an engagement photo on the "Personalities" page. And it was Julia Mead Hunt. Sparing a mental curse for the situation, Will said, "What have you been drinking, Benji? She doesn't look anything like Julia Hunt."

It was the baldest lie he'd ever told, and Will could only hope he could pull it off. He wouldn't convince Ethan, of course, but maybe he could deter Benji and buy Ethan some recovery time. His commander needed it, Will thought, given his continuing silence.

"Sure she does," Benji said, gesturing to the paper with the beer Jane had given him. "That smile - I saw her after Ethan's mission in China. Exact same smile."

Will fixed Benji with a hard glare. "And I staked her out in Croatia for three days. This woman has dark hair, too, but that's the extent of the resemblance."

Benji opened his mouth, and Will shifted his expression from _You're wrong_ to _You're wrong and I'm going to kill you for it._ Benji swallowed, and said, "Well, I thought she looks like Julia. Odd thing, too, her name's also Julia."

Jane took the paper from Ethan's hand, examined it. "Well, whoever she is, she's marrying well."

"Well?" Ethan asked, and Will hoped the other two didn't hear the crack in their commander's voice.

"Mm-hm. She's marrying Martin Bryce, of Bryce Pharmaceuticals." Jane raised an eyebrow as she scanned whatever else was in the article. "A real Cinderella story. He was in a skiing accident last winter, and they met while she was helping him recover."

"Lucky girl," Benji said.

"Yeah," Ethan muttered. "Lucky."

Will's mind raced. What more could he do to ease the tension? His gaze drifted to his unfinished burger, and he knew. He looked up at Ethan. "You planning to make Benji's burger really well done, or what?"

Just then, a bit of fat from the burgers dripped into the grill and flames shot up six inches above the patties.

"Hey!" Benji yelped, and Ethan spun to deal with the grill.

In the moment's commotion, Will slipped the paper from Jane's hands and tucked it into his backpack. "I didn't know we were getting a floor show, too," he quipped.

"Would've been better if Benji'd been standing closer to the grill," Ethan responded, and his gaze met Will's. Will read gratitude in his commander's eyes for the briefest of heartbeats before Ethan composed his expression once more.

"I'm not the one who bought fatty beef," Benji said. "You could've bought lean, and it wouldn't drip like that."

"Hey, you want healthy, there's always Jane's fruit salad," Will said, and then had to back away as Jane started toward him, a forkful of fruit in one hand.

"Just for that," Jane was saying, "you get the first taste."

"Oh, God," Benji moaned. "Not another food fight."

"Ethan won't throw us out like that guy did in Sarasota." Jane didn't take her attention away from Will as she spoke, and Will debated five different pins and two throws before deciding that just eating the fruit salad was the best choice. The team had been effectively distracted from the article about Julia, and that was enough for now.

Later, though - Later, he and Ethan would talk.

=X=

"See you on the range tomorrow, guys." Ethan closed the door behind Benji and Jane, let his forehead fall forward against it with a soft thunk. Behind him, he heard Will quietly cleaning up the remains of the barbecue. Ethan was pretty sure it should've been Jane's turn, but when the party was winding down, Will simply started gathering empty bottles. Ethan wasn't sure whether to be grateful or not.

The photo Benji had brought still filled his mind's eye. Julia was getting married again.

"You okay?" Will's voice came quietly from behind him. It was a sign of just how distracted he was that Ethan hadn't heard the other man approach.

"I don't know," Ethan admitted honestly. His last conversation with Julia replayed in his mind, and he heaved a quiet sigh. "I told her to be happy."

"Got to be tough, seeing it in the paper."

"Tough seeing it, period." And why was he being so honest with Will, a part of him wondered. _He's earned it_, Ethan thought in response. Will was the only other person in the world who knew Julia was still alive, and since he'd found out, he'd joined Ethan in the unofficial mission to keep Julia safe. "Did you know?"

"No." Will let out a breath, and Ethan finally turned to face his second in command - his friend. "I haven't seen her since that night in Seattle. Have you?"

Ethan knew he'd hesitated too long when Will's expression shifted from sympathetic to stern. "Once."

"Jesus, Ethan -"

"I know it was stupid, all right? But her sister sent me a Christmas card, and I figured checking on her once wasn't too risky."

"Just the once?"

Ethan nodded. "Just the once."

"And never again?" Despite Will's inflection, it sounded more like an order.

"Never again," Ethan agreed.

Will studied him for a moment, then nodded once and returned to cleaning up.

"I'll finish," Ethan said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You've already cleaned up a bigger mess. Thanks."

Will studied him again, and Ethan knew the other man was deciding whether he was fit to be alone.

"I'll be fine." And he would be, once he got past the initial shock.

"Okay." Will disposed of the trash he was holding, then grabbed his jacket and backpack. "See you in the morning."

It was only after the sound of Will's motorcycle faded into the night that Ethan went looking for the newspaper Benji had brought.

_And exactly why am I torturing myself with it?_ Ethan couldn't answer that question. He also couldn't find the paper, even after turning out the contents of two garbage cans.

He stood in the center of his kitchen, frowning at the garbage now littering his floor. Then it hit him.

_Brandt._ Of course. Will had his back, even in this.

Just this once, Ethan wished Will hadn't been so thorough.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later, Ethan stared at the remains of a jump drive. For the first time, he wished he could watch an assignment video again, just to convince himself it was real.

But he couldn't, and there was no use wasting time wishing otherwise. Ethan dumped the now-useless bit of metal and plastic, not even heavy enough to be an effective paperweight, into a trash bin as he left the McDonald's where he'd stopped for breakfast after his morning run. He'd long ago given up wondering how the IMF seemed to be able to find him, even when he'd taken some pains not to be found.

Walking swiftly, Ethan pulled his cell phone from a pocket and sent three text messages in quick succession. He replaced it as he quickened his pace to a jog and then a full run. Just past dawn, not many people were out and about, and he easily avoided the few who were.

_Why me?_ The question repeated in the cadence of his footsteps. Also for the first time, Ethan found himself considering refusing a mission.

_Should you choose to accept it _was standard language, and agents were free to refuse a mission for any reason at any time. Theoretically, refusing a mission would not be held against anyone who did. Practically, Ethan had only heard of two agents who'd refused missions in the entire history of the IMF. One had retired within six months of refusing. The other hadn't survived the next mission he'd accepted. Ethan didn't want to believe the two events were related.

There really was no other choice. If he didn't take the mission, another agent would - another agent who wasn't as good as he and his team were, who wasn't the best, and this mission demanded the best.

Ethan picked up his pace once again. He had only an hour to meet his team.

=X=

"The mission is Martin Bryce."

Ethan's words made Will flinch. Martin Bryce, who was engaged to Julia Mead Hunt - only she was Julia Dixon now, her new name only one of the many layers designed to keep her safe. What kind of perverse deity would think assigning this mission to Ethan Hunt was a good idea?

_No deity, _Will reminded himself. _Just a new Secretary who doesn't know all the facts. Sheer bad luck and bad timing, that's all._

"Bryce?" Benji repeated. "Why is that name familiar?"

"He was in that article you talked about at the barbecue. Bryce Pharmaceutical," Jane replied.

"So what's he done to merit the IMF's attention?" Will asked, and steeled himself for the answer.

"Sold drugs," Ethan responded.

"That's not a lot," Jane said, her expression dubious. Will simply waited for the other shoe to drop.

"Designer drugs embellished with nanotech tracking devices," Ethan clarified. He paused to give his next words more weight. "Under contract from the U.S. government. The government uses these enhanced drugs to more efficiently track and combat the distribution networks."

"That's good, isn't it?" Benji asked. "Getting drugs off the street?"

"That's not how it'll look in the press," Will said. "It'll look like the government is, one, actively selling drugs to the drug dealers and, two, using unauthorized surveillance on its own citizens."

"A P.R. disaster if it gets out," Ethan agreed.

"So what's the mission?" Jane asked.

"The first shipment of these drugs is going out in two days. We're supposed to intercept it and switch out the nano-drugs with untreated ones," Ethan said. "That way, they won't register on the tracking devices, the plan will be considered a failure, and it will quietly go away."

Will let himself relax. The mission had nothing whatever to do with Julia. They'd never have to come within a hundred miles of her and her new fiancé. He knew Ethan was even more relieved than he was, even if Ethan's expression didn't show it.

"The most vulnerable point along the shipping route is through southern Mexico," Ethan said, and Will focused on the plan his commander outlined. Time to do or die, now, not brood over things that couldn't be changed.

=X=

Although he'd been accused of favoring it too often, Ethan had always found misdirection far more forgiving than confrontation. At the very least, misdirection wasn't as life-threatening as confrontation, which helped explain why Ethan was still one of the IMF's top agents after fifteen years in the field and most of his co-recruits had long retired or sought support roles.

The mission to Palenque, Mexico, was yet another opportunity to avoid confrontation, and hopefully live to fight another day.

Ethan sat in the driver's seat of a canvas-covered truck much like the one transporting Bryce's doctored drugs, carefully concealed behind a camouflage screen along the side of the road. His truck was loaded, too - with standard heroin to replace the load being sent from Bryce Pharmaceuticals. Why IMF had access to such a large stash was another in a long series of questions Ethan had long ago decided not to ask. Contemplating such things could make a man crazy.

Across the road from him, Will sat in an identical truck behind an identical screen, except Will's truck was empty, waiting to receive the doctored goods when they were offloaded from the transport.

A hundred yards south of their position, Benji waited for the transport truck and the moment to activate the electronic camouflage that would hide their activities from the truck driver. Half a mile north of them, Jane played lookout.

"Status?" Ethan asked.

"Bored." Benji's voice came through his earpiece.

"Better bored than dead," Will retorted.

"I don't see them yet," came Jane's report. "They must be running behind schedule."

"Who wouldn't, on these roads?" Benji asked. "I suppose you could call them paved, but only if you have a very loose definition of paving."

Twenty minutes later, Jane spoke again. "I'm hearing gunfire - a lot of it."

"Are you compromised?" Ethan snapped.

"No, it's coming from north of me. Hard to tell how far in this jungle. Going to investigate."

Ethan bit back a reminder to be careful. She was as qualified as any of them, had proved her worth and skill on numerous missions since this team had formed. _Must be hardwired to want to keep the female of the species safe_, Ethan mused while he waited for her next report.

"Guys - get up here. Now."

"Go," Ethan told Will, whose empty truck would move faster. "Benji, haul ass up here."

"Coming," Benji reported.

Minutes later, Ethan pulled to a stop behind Will's truck, and he and Benji climbed out. Past the truck, they found a dozen dead men and the remains of a truck.

Jane strode toward them. "They were ambushed," she said. "It looks like they unhooked the truckbed and hitched it to another truck."

"They can't have gotten too far," Benji said. "Not on this road. We can catch up with them -"

Will's voice cut across Benji's plan. "These guys are good."

Ethan picked his way through the bodies to where Will crouched studying the cab. "How so?"

"See this?" Will indicated the driver's side tire. "Shredded, not shot. You can see part of the metal still embedded in the rubber. And these footprints -" Will stood. "They made the truck stop by puncturing the tire. Then, when they were focused on the repair, the ambushers killed them and took the drugs."

"Great," Jane said. "We got here in the middle of a drug war between rival factions."

"I don't think so," Will said. "Most of these guys look local. But take a look at this one." He led the way to the far side of the road, and one body that had fallen several meters from the rest. Will toed the man's wrist, exposing a stylized "S" tattoo.

"That's a mark of the Syndicate," Benji said.

"Pros," Will agreed.

"But what would the Syndicate want with heroin?" Jane asked.

"Not the heroin," Ethan said, with that starburst of clear certainty that marked his hunches. "The nanotech tracking devices."

"Even more reason to catch up with them," Benji said.

"And do what?" Will asked. "We're not armed for that kind of fight. Besides, they've probably already broken the drugs up into smaller packages. They'll be damned hard to find."

"Impossible to find," Ethan corrected. "If there's one thing they know how to do, it's blend in locally."

"So. What now?" Jane asked.

There was only one thing to do, even if Ethan's stomach rebelled at the thought. "We have to find out how the Syndicate knew to be here, and what they plan to do next."

"And how are we going to do that?" Benji demanded.

"Only one way." Will sounded resigned, and Ethan read the same dread certainty that he felt in Will's expression.

Ethan managed a nod. "Infiltrate Bryce Pharmaceutical."


	3. Chapter 3

The woman once known as Julia Hunt twisted the engagement ring she wore on her left hand, its weight still unfamiliar though she'd worn it for a month. So different from the little plastic sunflower that had marked her first marriage - the one nobody else could ever know about, now; the one she only allowed herself to think about in the depths of a night shift, when the hospital was as quiet as it could get.

Now, she had to focus on her upcoming wedding that would be far more lavish than her first exchange of vows in a hospital chapel. The chaplain on duty had smiled at the toy rings - the sunflower for her, a panda for Ethan.

Ethan.

Julia closed her eyes against the flood of memories associated with the name she never spoke aloud. Dark hair, hazel eyes, cocky grin, and the gentlest touch she'd ever known. She'd been lucky, even for the short time as they'd had together.

"There you are, darling. You wanted to see me?"

Julia made herself smile and turn toward the man approaching her. Martin Bryce might not eclipse Ethan Hunt in her mind, but he shone with a light of his own. She could be, if not happy, then at least content with him.

"Just to ask if you have any preferences. The wedding planner should be here soon."

Martin wrapped his arms around her and dropped a kiss to her temple. "I prefer to be married. The rest is details."

Julia shook her head, smiling up at him. "That's not narrowing it down."

"Let's try this, then." Martin stood back and adopted a stern expression. "Absolutely no themes that will look dated next year, let alone ten years from now. Simple and classic."

"Much better," Julia teased. "I can work with that."

"Whatever you want," Martin told her. "It's your day."

"Our day," she corrected, and stretched up to kiss him lightly.

He returned it, then stepped back. "Sorry, I have to go. The auditors are coming today, and then I have a meeting with some of our suppliers. They keep wanting to raise prices, the greedy bastards."

Julia returned his smile. "I'll try to keep the wedding costs reasonable, then, just in case you don't out-negotiate them."

"The day I can't out-negotiate a supplier is the day I resign as President and Chairman. I'll see you at dinner."

"See you." Julia watched him leave, absently turning the engagement ring around her finger. In most respects, Martin couldn't be more different than Ethan, but there was one way in which they were eerily similar. She had the same feeling that Martin wasn't telling her everything about his work that she'd had with Ethan, before she'd been kidnapped and taken to China. Then she'd learned everything about Ethan and his work.

She only hoped it wouldn't take another kidnapping for her to learn everything about Martin and his work.

"The wedding planner has arrived, Miss. The sun room."

"Thanks," Julia told the housekeeper. _I'm a nurse. When do nurses have housekeepers?_ But that was just one of the things she'd had to get used to since she'd started dating Martin.

Julia crossed to the library, surprised to find a man surveying the manicured lawn through the French doors.

"You don't look like a Laura," Julia said.

The man turned to face her, and she took in green eyes, brown hair, and a well-cut charcoal blazer and slacks. He smiled and offered his hand. "I'm Brandon Williams. Laura came down with flu. I'm filling in for her."

"I see." Julia shook his hand, hoping she didn't sound too skeptical.

"It's been my experience that women have a hard time encouraging other women to be beautiful, even on the most special day of their lives."

So she hadn't hidden her reaction well enough. "Well, that would be a fruitless endeavor on any day, in my case."

"Hardly." Williams smiled at her again, and Julia thought there was a warmth in his smile that hadn't been there the first time.

"Please." Julia sat on the chintz-covered sofa and gestured for him to sit next to her. He did, dropping the portfolio he carried onto the coffee table. "I'm afraid I have no idea where to start. I always thought I'd have a small wedding."

She had had a small wedding, when she married Ethan. The two of them, the chaplain, and a couple of witnesses. It hadn't been legally binding until they'd signed the marriage license weeks later, but she savored that memory, hoped it would get her through the spectacle that her wedding to Martin would be.

"Let's start with that," Williams said. "What you'd like most. "

Julia closed her eyes, thought back to the wedding fantasies she'd had when she was a girl. "Outdoors in the fall. Leaves turning color, maybe by a stream. And then come inside for a reception by the fire." She opened her eyes to find Williams staring at her, and she blushed. "Not what you usually hear, is it?"

"At least you haven't set me an impossible mission, like some of my clients."

"Impossible mission?" Julia repeated, unable to keep the surprise from her voice. The odd phrasing reminded her of Ethan - he'd worked with the Impossible Mission Force. This wedding planner couldn't have anything to do with that, could he?

Williams nodded. "One of them wanted an entire chapel built from ice. She'd stayed at the Ice Hotel in Quebec and wanted to recreate the experience. Except she was getting married in July."

"That does sound impossible." The disappointment was irrational, Julia knew that. Still, she'd hoped for some link, however tenuous, to Ethan, even if it meant her life might be endangered again.

"The good news is that a venue shouldn't be difficult. In fact -" Williams broke off and opened his portfolio, paging through it until he found what he wanted. "Would you consider this?"

Julia took the brochure he offered her, studied it. It was for a bed and breakfast about an hour's drive away. The picture showed it nestled among mature woods with an English-style garden behind it.

"It's beautiful," Julia said.

"The inside flap has pictures of the rooms." Williams' voice was neutral, and Julia gave him a puzzled frown, but opened the flap as he suggested.

Her breath caught when she saw the sticker pressed in the lower corner. It was a yellow sunflower. She yanked her gaze from it to Williams, opened her mouth.

Before she could speak, he said, "I can arrange a tour. Tomorrow, if you like."

"Yes." Julia heard the catch in her voice and cleared her throat. "I have a night shift tomorrow, so I need to be back by three."

"I can be here at nine, if that's convenient."

"That's fine." Julia barely paid attention to the rest of what Williams said, focusing past the rush of emotions just enough to provide responses when prompted. Williams _was_ with Ethan's agency and, given the sunflower sticker, probably knew Ethan. At the least, he knew who _she_ was.

A cautious voice that sounded a lot like Ethan's spoke in her mind. _He may know who you are, but that doesn't mean he's on your side. Be careful._

=X=

The company headquarters of Bryce Pharmaceutical wasn't the most ostentatious office Ethan had ever visited. Its lobby reminded Ethan of a Holiday Inn - inoffensive décor, functionality reigning supreme. The money Bryce hadn't spent on interior designers had instead gone to security.

Thankfully, he and Jane weren't carrying anything that wasn't adequately explained by their pose as auditors, Ethan thought as the guard at the security desk checked their identification.

"Take your laptops out, please," the guard said. "And turn them on."

Ethan raised an eyebrow, but opened his briefcase to remove his laptop. Beside him, Jane did the same.

The guard gave the laptops a cursory glance as they booted, then said, "That's fine, thanks." He handed back their ID. "Wait here."

Ethan exchanged a glance with Jane, and saw that she shared his concern. If security was this tight just to get into the building, what would they face when they tried to insert a worm into Bryce's intranet?

_Trust Benji_, Ethan reminded himself. _He's one of the best, and he's got backup at headquarters again._

"Mr. Davidson?"

Ethan turned to see a woman about his age dressed in a tailored business suit approaching. "And my colleague, Laura James."

"I'm Renee Ford, Director of Accounting." The woman shook hands with each of them. "If you'll come with me, I'll get you situated."

Ford took a pair of badges from the security guard and offered one to each of the IMF agents. "These will get you into your workspace and the common areas."

"I'm impressed with your security," Ethan said as he fell into step with her. Jane followed only a pace behind.

"It's necessary," Ford answered as she swiped her card to summon an elevator. "Some of the research we do here is very sensitive. Having someone walk in at the wrong time would be disastrous. I'm not allowed in many more places than you will be."

The elevator opened and Ethan gestured for the two women to precede him. Ford pushed the button for the twelfth floor.

"Accounting is on twelve," Ford said, "and the cafeteria's on three. The elevator won't let you make another selection." Just to prove her point, she pressed the button for the eighteenth floor.

"Please make another selection." The recorded voice echoed in the closed elevator.

"Very polite," Ethan observed.

"If you keep trying, the elevator will shut down until Security can respond," Ford said.

"I'll be sure to have coffee before I push the button," Jane murmured. Ford gave her a tight, polite smile just as the doors opened on the twelfth floor.

"This way." Ford led them down a corridor to a small conference room overlooking the front approach to the building. "You can work here."

"Thanks," Ethan said. "Anything we need to know about computer access?"

"I'll have IT bring you passwords and get you set up." Ford smiled at him. "My office is at the end of the corridor on the left, if you need anything else." She gave the briefest pause. "Lunch, perhaps."

"I will." Ethan smiled back, and then Ford was gone.

"Will's going to be upset," Jane observed quietly as she pulled her laptop from her tote. "He called dibs on the next seduction."

Ethan blinked at Jane's suggestion. Seduction?

"You can't tell me you didn't see she's interested."

"No, I saw." Ethan turned to his briefcase. "But you heard her - she's not likely to have any useful information."

For which he was grateful. Even though he and Julia weren't together anymore, could never be together again, and now she was marrying another man, Ethan found he had no interest in another woman. Sure, he flirted with Jane, but that was safe - agents never slept with other agents. Doing so made the missions personal, which was the one thing a mission was never supposed to be.

If he had to, Ethan would find a way to flirt with Renee Ford, even seduce her if that was necessary. But it would simply be duty, and not the pleasure it had been before Julia.

"Hey, y'all." Ethan looked up to see a man in his mid-twenties standing in the doorway. "I'm Jared. Ms. Ford said y'all need passwords. If you'll let me drive your keyboards for a minute, I'll get you all set up."

"Sure." Jane turned her laptop toward him. "Thanks for your help."

"No prob." Jared took over her keyboard. "Here's the intranet login site. And your passwords are auditor oh one and auditor oh two. Ladies first, of course."

"Of course," Ethan murmured, and Jared moved to his laptop.

"There you go," Jared said after another moment. "All set up. You'll see the auditor information link once you log in. You need anything else, I'm on extension six oh one six."

Then Jared was gone in a lingering echo of a Texas twang and Ethan closed the conference room door behind him. "Benji, you there?"

"Mercury reads you, Jupiter. I'm in the server room - conveniently also where the phone lines are."

"Logging in to their intranet now." Jane's words were punctuated by her tapping on the keys.

"Mercury?" Ethan repeated.

"Pluto's not a planet. I should at least be a planet. Inserting spyware and data miner program now," Benji reported. "And despite Saturn's suggestion, I'm not going for Uranus."

"Still leaves Neptune and Mars," Jane observed.

"Neither one of which suit me. All right, you should be good to go."

"Opening data miner," Jane said. Beside her, Ethan logged in to the intranet normally. Having the two programs operating side by side would further confuse anyone who might be watching - so Benji said, and Ethan trusted Benji's judgment in all things software related.

"We are good to go, Mercury," Jane reported after a few minutes. "You can fix the phone problem now."

"Roger that." Then Benji fell silent, and Ethan knew he was packing up to leave. His part of this phase of the mission was finished.

His and Jane's part was only beginning, though. They'd have to search through Bryce's most secure records to try to find the leak that led the Syndicate to the nano-drugs. Benji would help from the hotel room that was their base of operations, but Ethan knew this phase of the mission would make or break the rest of it.

"Is it hard for you?" Jane's question broke into his thoughts.

"Is what hard?"

"Being here, maybe running into a woman who resembles your wife."

The drawback with having a team that was as close as this one, Ethan mused, was that they knew too many of each other's secrets. Jane didn't know the biggest secret where Julia was concerned, but she knew enough to ask uncomfortable questions.

But maybe he could discourage her. "If you don't think I can handle it -"

Her eyes widened slightly. "No, that's not what I meant. I don't doubt you can handle it."

"Good. Has the data miner found anything yet?"

"Not yet." Jane focused on her screen again. Ethan hated being sharp with her when she was simply being friendly, but the wound of being thrust into Julia's orbit again was too new, too raw, for him to be completely rational.

He was just grateful that Will had offered to see to bugging Bryce's house. Even with a full-face mask, Ethan wasn't sure he could keep from revealing himself to her, and he would have to, in order to keep her safe. But Will had volunteered, and so all Ethan had to do was stay away. If he could.

=X=

"How'd it go?"

Will looked up at Ethan's question. For the moment, the two of them were alone in the sitting room of the hotel suite that was the team's base for this mission. "I made contact, as planned, but haven't got the bug planted yet. Which I said in the debrief earlier."

"Not what I meant."

Of course it wasn't, Will thought. Not with Julia involved. What Ethan meant was _How is she? Is she happy?_ Will let out a breath.

"She looks good," he told Ethan.

"Happy?"

"I don't know her well enough to judge." Will kept his voice even. "I'm seeing her again tomorrow. I'll ask."

"Ask?" Ethan stared at him as if he didn't believe what he'd heard. "How can you just _ask_ someone whether they're happy or not?"

Will couldn't help the grin that tugged at his lips. "I'm her wedding planner. I'll hear all the details, especially if she thinks I'm gay." Then he sobered. "Ethan - I've got your back. You know that, right?"

Ethan nodded once, acknowledging that their friendship that went beyond being IMF teammates. Will wasn't certain just when and how that had happened, but it had. He now counted Ethan Hunt among those precious few for whom he'd do anything - kill, die, or anything in between - if it were ever needed.

"Then back off."

Ethan blinked at the sudden sharpness Will put into his tone. Will might be Ethan's second in command now, but he'd led a team of his own, too, and he knew how to command when needed.

"Will -"

"No, Ethan. In Dubai, I accused you of fixating, obsessing, on Hendricks and the codes. I didn't know you then, and I was wrong. Now I know you, and I'm not wrong this time. You're fixating on Julia when you promised you'd let her go."

For once, his commander had no comeback, and Will pressed his advantage. "I promise you, I'll do everything I can to protect her. I won't fail her - you - like I did in Croatia. But you have to let me handle it."

Ethan sat quietly long enough that Will started to wonder if he'd pushed too hard, too fast. Then Ethan let out a breath. "Thank you."

Which response was as puzzling as an explosion would've been expected. "For?"

"Having my back."

Will couldn't joke, not in this moment. So he said simply, "It's a fair trade. You have mine."

And there it was, the cocky grin Will had come to recognize, and sometimes loathe, over the last year. "Yeah," Ethan said. "I do."

"God help us all, you crazy-ass son of a bitch," Will muttered, and Ethan laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

As he'd said, Will arrived at Julia's house promptly at nine. He wasn't surprised to find her waiting for him. They exchanged pleasantries, and Will held the door to the sedan for her.

She was silent as he directed the car toward the bed and breakfast, and Will wasn't sure whether to be grateful or not. He knew what he had to do, but determining the best way of doing it was a challenge, and he'd hoped that she'd follow up on the hint he'd dropped yesterday, but so far she seemed to be focused on the scenery.

Which meant it would be up to him to broach the subject, and Will had no idea how best to do that. He'd observed the woman beside him for three days back in Rovinj, but she and Ethan had been on holiday - never the best time to truly understand someone, in his experience.

"Just tell me."

"What?"

Julia's lips quirked. "Whatever it is you're thinking so loudly."

Will gave her a dubious look. "You can hear thoughts?"

"No, but it's pretty obvious you have something on your mind. I can almost feel how hard you're thinking about it."

Will silently cursed himself. He'd once spent ten minutes standing in a dark corner while three trigger-happy terrorists paced a ship deck not five feet from him and gone completely unnoticed - unsensed, even, thanks to years of training and practice. Was everything he knew doomed to failure when this woman was around?

_At least this time, I'm not playing strategy games against Ethan Hunt._ He hoped.

Beside him, Julia gave a sharp sigh. "Okay, I'll start. Why did you choose the term 'impossible mission' yesterday? Hyperbole? Or something else?"

That one was easy. "Something else."

"Thank God." Her words were barely more than a whisper. Then, "Is Ethan in danger? Am I?"

"No," Will said, then corrected himself, "Not that we know of."

"How did you know who I am?"

"That's a long story."

"We still have at least half an hour before we get to the bed and breakfast."

"True enough." But just what should he tell her? He couldn't tell her everything. Will took a sip of coffee from the cup he'd brought while he ordered his thoughts. "I was there when you and Ethan were in Croatia."

"You were?" She sounded surprised. "But -"

"But things went wrong, and you died, and the day they found your body was my last day in the field."

Julia studied him for a long moment. "But you're back in the field now," she observed. "What happened?"

"Ethan."

"Ethan?"

"Ethan. I can't tell you the details, but I ended up helping him and his team on a mission - back in the field despite myself." Will still couldn't believe that particular mission had ended successfully. He chalked it up to dumb luck plus a combination of Ethan's hunches and his own planning skills. He and Ethan complemented each other that way. "After that, he asked me to join his team full time. I told him I didn't think he wanted me on his team, and told him about Croatia. That's when he told me you were still alive."

Julia was silent when he finished, and Will glanced at her. She appeared to be absorbing what he'd said, and Will understood, at least partly, why Ethan had fallen for her. She didn't react with extreme emotion, but instead an openness and consideration that boded well for her understanding of a difficult situation.

"You're still working with Ethan?"

Where was that question leading? "Yes."

"So he knows that I'm getting - about Martin?"

"Yes." Then, because he knew what her next question would be, Will said, "He asked if you're happy."

"Not as happy as I would be with him."

Will was still trying to decide what to say to that when Julia spoke again. "Are you going to be able to pretend to be a wedding planner? No offense, but - well, most guys don't get into it the way girls do."

The question made him laugh. "I wasn't expecting that kind of question."

Julia smiled. "We're almost at the bed and breakfast - assuming you're playing the charade out."

"Absolutely. Made the appointment and everything. If anyone asks, you have to be able to give them your honest impressions of the place." Will took the turn off the highway that would lead them to the building. "But to answer your question, my little sister got married last year, and she dragged me around to everything - venue, caterer, photographer, the works."

"Sadistic sister?"

"Close. Really," he added to her skeptical expression. As close as they could be, when he had to lie about his job.

"If you say so. I still have … other … questions for you, but they can wait," Julia added as Will pulled into a parking space.

"I'll tell you what I can." _And hope Ethan doesn't kill me when he finds out._

=X=

Two hours later, Julia had to admit that if she hadn't known Brandon Williams wasn't a wedding planner, she wouldn't have had a clue from his interactions with the owners of the bed and breakfast. He asked appropriate questions, got them talking, and didn't promise anything beyond, "We'll get back to you. We do have several other venues to look at."

Then he suggested that they have a picnic lunch on the grounds. "I have a cooler with sandwich stuff in the back of the car."

Julia couldn't help raising an eyebrow at the suggestion. "Trying to be romantic?"

"Trying not to be overheard while we talk."

Julia didn't understand why he'd prefer to talk over lunch than in the car, as they had on the drive here, but said only, "What can I carry?"

Minutes later, they were sitting in the shade of a tree, assembling sandwiches. Well, she was assembling a sandwich. Brandon - if that was his real name, which Julia wasn't willing to bet on - paced the small clearing, scanning the horizon in all directions.

"Safe enough," he concluded eventually, sitting so that he could see the bed and breakfast. "We weren't followed here, and I don't see any signs that we're under observation."

"You said that I'm not in danger?"

"That we know of," he corrected.

"Then why are you here? What's going on?" Instinctively, she offered him the sandwich that she'd made, so that he could maintain his alertness rather than be distracted by making one himself.

"Thanks." He took a bite of the sandwich rather than answer her question, and Julia willed herself to patience, focused on making a sandwich for herself. If Brandon were much like Ethan, pressuring him would do no good, and might even convince him not to say anything.

"Bryce has been working with the government on certain projects," he said finally. "Somehow, word of one of his deliveries got out. The delivery convoy was attacked en route, and the product stolen."

"And you're trying to find out where the leak is and stop it," Julia guessed.

"In a nutshell."

It was her turn to take a bite of her sandwich while she thought. Not that it took her long to reach a conclusion. "How can I help?"

"Excuse me?"

Julia tried to hide her smile, failed. "Why else would you tell me you're here, if you didn't want my help?"

"Because I won't fail you again."

Julia felt her eyes widen. "Fail me? I don't understand."

"In Croatia, we got word that someone was planning something - an actual threat, not just the alert we'd been on." Brandon seemed to be choosing his words with care, Julia thought. "And I couldn't shake the feeling that I should warn you, get word to you or Ethan, somehow. But I didn't. Orders were orders, right? And then -"

"Then I was taken," Julia finished for him. She remembered the rest of his earlier story, how that failure had made him leave the field.

"When he told me you were still alive, I promised Ethan I had his back, that I would help him keep you safe." Now, finally, he focused solely on her. "I also promised myself that I wouldn't make the same mistake again, that I'd trust my gut and do what it told me, orders be damned."

Julia swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable at the intensity of his expression. It was the same intensity she'd seen in Ethan while they were in China, just before she'd killed him to save his life. _Of course it is,_ the rational part of her mind told her. _They're alike in a lot of ways._

She forced herself to meet his gaze. "You said you have no threat against me or Ethan."

"We don't," he conceded. "But I have the same feeling that I had in Croatia. You need to know."

"All right." Julia couldn't argue with that, not after what he'd told her. But she couldn't just sit back and watch him and his team handle a problem that might involve her fiancée, even herself, either. "So I ask again, how can I help?"

Brandon shook his head and started to speak, but she spoke first. "I know, I know, you don't want my help. But now that I know there's a problem, I can't just sit on the sidelines. And I have access to Martin that nobody else does. Tell me what I need to watch for, and I will."

He regarded her silently for long moments, and Julia met his gaze without wavering, though she wondered at her own insistence. For those few months between China and Croatia, she'd done her best to allow Ethan the freedom, both physical and emotional, he needed to do his job. She'd never asked about his work, had tried not to hover when he came home injured, hadn't clung when he'd had to leave. So why was she now offering to help this man who wasn't Ethan, whom she barely knew, in ways she'd never even thought to help Ethan?

One answer came easily: _Because this time, I'm personally affected._

But was that the only answer? She didn't know, and she wasn't certain she wanted to know. Still, the offer was made, and she wouldn't take it back.

After some silent time, Brandon blew out a sharp breath. "We don't know whether Bryce is involved. There may not be anything for you to find, even if you looked. Looking could be dangerous if he is personally involved."

"Let me put it another way. How would you stop me from doing it anyway?"

He smiled slightly. "You're almost as stubborn as Ethan."

"More."

"Maybe," was all Brandon would allow before he took another bite of his sandwich. He chewed and swallowed, then set the sandwich aside. "If you're going to do this, you'll have to wear a tracking device. Just in case. Is there a piece of jewelry you never take off?"

Julia simply extended her left hand to him. The diamond on her third finger glittered in the afternoon sun.

Brandon took her hand and slipped the ring off her finger to examine it. "I can fit a device under the setting."

"That's awfully small."

"But effective. I don't have one with me. Please don't do anything that might rouse anyone's suspicions until the device is installed."

"You haven't told me what I'm looking for." Julia took the ring back from him and settled its weight back on her finger.

"And I won't until you're wearing a tracking device."

"You're pretty stubborn yourself."

"Have to be, in this line of work. Only we call it _determined_." He wrapped the remains of their lunch and returned them to the cooler. "What time are you available tomorrow?"

"Not until noon, at least."

"Then I'll be there at one. You can say we're going to look at dresses."

"And you'll tell me what I need to be looking for?" Julia pressed.

"I will." Though he didn't look happy about it at all. Then his expression cleared. "There is one thing you can help with."

"What?"

"We're very thorough in what we do."

He looked at her, and Julia felt that he expected some kind of response. She swallowed and said, "Of course. You have to be."

"One part of my assignment is to get a listening device into Bryce's home office."

Julia's instinct was to protest the invasion of privacy, the assumptions behind such an action, but she clamped her mouth tight before she spoke.

_Ethan used to do this - still does this,_ she reminded herself. _Would he, if he didn't have a good reason? And you don't _know_ that Martin's innocent._

Where did that statement come from? Julia thought back over the months she'd been with Martin, the nagging feeling that he hadn't told her everything about what he did.

_Of course not_, she responded automatically. _Nobody ever knows everything about anyone else, even after a lifetime together, and we've only been together a few months._

Still, the truth that she couldn't assume Martin's innocence would not be denied. She let out a breath, and made herself ask, "Do you want me to do it?"

"Just get me into his office, and I'll do it. A tour of the house?"

She smiled. "So you can get a feel for the styles we like, after the bed and breakfast you suggested wasn't a good match."

Brandon blinked. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," Julia assured him. "It fits me perfectly. But Martin … Martin likes things a certain way, even if he did tell me I could have whatever I want."

Was that because he truly wanted to indulge her, Julia wondered suddenly, or because he didn't care enough to have an opinion?

The question lingered while they returned to Brandon's car and then to Martin's mansion and through the tour. She suspected it would linger long after she saw Brandon to the door when the tour ended.

=X=

Ethan Hunt wasn't the only crazy-ass son of a bitch in the IMF, Will decided as he pulled away from Bryce's mansion. What was he thinking, dragging Julia into the mission?

_You're not dragging her. She's butting in,_ the rational part of Will's mind reminded him. But he was letting her, even when he knew he shouldn't, and that was the one thing he couldn't analyze, no matter how many times he turned the question over, nor how many angles he considered.

Still, she'd taken him through the ground floor of the house, talking about its history as though she'd lived there all of her life, not missing a beat when he'd slipped the bug in place, which made Will wonder just how much time Martin Bryce had spent talking about it. Julia didn't seem the type to care much about such things, though Will had only known her a few days. Hours, really.

Will turned from the mansion's driveway back onto the street. By now, Benji's spyware should've provided the rest of the team with something - some piece of data, some scrap of email or recorded conversation - to follow up on. He'd be glad to leave this part of the mission behind and take a more direct role.

Movement in the rear-view mirror caught his eye, and Will focused on the reflection of the car that had pulled away from the pavement behind him. It was just like any other car, he thought, except something about the driver made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

The driver's face was mostly covered, thanks to sunglasses and shadows, but still Will thought he - and how was he certain the driver was a he? - looked familiar.

For the next five blocks, Will watched the driver behind him almost as much as he watched the road in front of him. Then the driver took a left turn, and for the briefest of moments, sunlight illuminated the driver, and Will scowled.

What the hell was Ethan doing parked outside Bryce's mansion?


End file.
